


Citizen Negan

by demented_queen



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Right?, Weird, humorous take on death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 17:44:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11696682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demented_queen/pseuds/demented_queen
Summary: Negan utters one word on his death bed prompting Simon, Arat and Eugene to go on a journey to find the meaning of it.Simon wishes he had just stayed home.My extremely belated entry for Regan week for the prompt death.





	Citizen Negan

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know I'm super late. I've been REALLY busy. But as people have always said, better late than never.
> 
> And in answer to your question, YES, I really don't take anything very seriously. 
> 
> Not even death.

 

 

_“Cornflower…”_

And with that, Negan’s last word on his lips, the once terrifying leader of the Saviors, died.

“I don’t get it,” Simon said as he looked up at Arat and Dr. Carson once again.

“I don’t either,” Dr. Carson shrugged. “How in the hell did he just fucking die!? I mean, I get it. He was literally wasting away, but from what? _Why?_ ”

“No, I mean ‘cornflower.’ What the fuck does that even mean?” Simon frowned.

“Seriously? A man, your leader, my,” Dr. Carson waved his hand around as he tried to come up with a word, “former incarcerator, just died from who knows what and you’re stuck on his last words?”

“I think this may be important,” Simon interjected. “Maybe it’s a clue as to what the fuck happened to him.”

“As far as my vast knowledge goes, and my knowledge is quite vast, at least more vast than any of yours put together," Eugene droned while Arat made a disgusted sound in the background, “the centaurea cyanus, cornflower being its common name, is not a poisonous species. In fact, it has been known to be adorned on salads…”

“Please, not now Poindexter,” Simon groaned.

“Would it be of any help to know that it originated in Europe and was brought to North America…”

“No, no it wouldn’t,” Simon said in exasperation. “I think we should look into this cornflower thing. Find out what it means.”

“So you’re gonna what?” Dr. Carson scoffed. “Go all _Citizen Kane_ all over the place?”

“Huh?” Simon questioned.

“I believe our doctor is referring to the 1941 movie ‘Citizen Kane’ that Orson Welles wrote, directed, produced and starred in as the title character,” Eugene intoned. “It was considered by many critics to be the finest movie ever made despite the limited distribution the movie…”

“Huh?” Simon said again.

“He _means_ ,” the doctor said, “on his death bed, Kane said one word, ‘rosebud,’ and then a reporter picked up on it and decided to go on this quest to find out what it meant.”

“Okay yeah, yeah,” Simon said excitedly as he pointed at the doctor. “Guess I’ll be Citizen Kaning it.”

“We. _We’ll_ be Citizen Kaning it,” Arat supplied as Eugene raised his hand to come with.

“So,” Simon asked, “how’d the movie end?”

 

They had asked everyone at the Sanctuary if the word ‘cornflower’ meant anything to them in relation to Negan.

One Savior in particular had chuckled raunchily and said it was a slang term for ‘virgin ass.’

“If Negan were still alive, you wouldn’t even think of suggesting that,” Simon growled.

“Yeah well, if Negan were still alive,” the Savior replied in his defense, “then he wouldn’t have said it on his death dead, ‘cause you know…he wouldn’t be, like… _dead_.”

Simon hated when his flunkies made valid points like that and made him look bad.

He made a mental note to dock the asshole some points.

 

“Cornflower,” King Ezekiel mused as he thought about it. “Do you know of the bard William Wordsworth? He spoke of the cornflower as his goddaughter held one in her hand and how it was akin to bachelorhood. Could that be what our erstwhile potentate had been trying to convey?”

“Huh?” Simon grimaced.

Everyone turned as one to the scoff heard in the corner. “Got something on your mind?” Arat asked in her usual blunt tone.

“Really? Bachelorhood. Negan,” Carol snickered. “Didn’t he have a slew of wives?”

“Had. He _had_ wives,” Simon replied as he shrugged. “After the war, they all went their separate ways.”

“So, you’re saying, after everything went down, Negan was…what? _Celibate?_ ” she sputtered with a raised eyebrow.

“No fucking way,” Arat said. “He was getting it somewhere.”

“Yeah, he had that dopey smile on his face,” Simon muttered.

Carol looked on thoughtfully. “Maybe we should go to the Hilltop.”

“We?” Simon winced.

“Oh, I’m not being left out of this one,” Carol stated.

“I concur!” Ezekiel stated emphatically. “And I shall join in the quest as well!”

“Look, this isn’t some," Simon grumbled as he floundered around for the right word, "Holy Grail shit. You stay here King Arthur...with Lancelot over there,” he said as he indicated Jerry, the large man smiling from ear to ear at the given nickname.

“Nonsense, I shall accompany milady on your pilgrimage,” Ezekiel declared as Carol rolled her eyes. “I must confess that I too, am quite intrigued.”

“Fine,” Simon groused. “Just…leave the tiger. He’s not riding in the van with us.”

 

“Cornflower.  Cornflower,” Gregory pondered as he looked all around him for inspiration. “You know…there was a book written some time before the infection called ‘I am Cornflower.’”

“Yeah?” Simon said suddenly intrigued, hoping that they were finally getting somewhere.

“Gregory,” Jesus sighed as he pinched his brows in annoyance, “I know the book you're talking about.”

“Why can’t that be a clue? It’s a great clue!” Gregory argued in his defense.

“Really?” Jesus huffed. “The book was about a White Mountain Apache girl!”

“So? Maybe Negan was… _confused_ ,” Gregory shrugged.

“Although our once illustrious leader had many issues upon which he was at times a bit befuddled on,” everyone scrunching their brows at the thought of Negan ever having been ‘befuddled,’ “his sexual identity was not one of them,” Eugene concluded in his usual monotone voice.

“Yeah, what he said. Why are we even talking to you?” Simon griped. “You’re not the leader anymore. She is,” he finished as he pointed to Maggie.

“’S alright,” Maggie said. “I just wanted to see what Gregory came up with.”

“Oh, you’re so smart,” Gregory scoffed. “What do you think…”

“Blue,” Maggie drawled. “Cornflower blue. I think he was referring to a color.”

“You may have something there,” Simon said as he wagged his finger at Maggie.

“Well it beats what I came up with,” Jesus muttered as everyone heard him word something about ‘virgin ass’ under his breath. “Cornflower blue is a real distinctive color. Maybe the color of eyes… _oh._ ”

“Oh? Oh what?” Simon demanded.

Both Maggie and Carol gasped.

“What? What was that for?” Simon asked.

“We should go to Alexandria,” Maggie said.

“I don’t like going there,” Simon groused. “Ever since Rick died, everyone’s real pissy. Hell, a lot of people are real pissy.”

“Well,” Maggie started as she crossed her arms in determination, “Rick _did_ lead us all to freedom just like…”

“Moses, yeah, I know,” Simon sighed.

“Was gonna say like John Connor in them Terminator movies but yeah, you get the picture,” Maggie smiled.

“You know, even Negan was all upset after Grimes kicked the bucket as well,” Simon said in resignation.

“We should really get to Alexandria,” Jesus said.

“We again?” Simon cringed. “You and Maggie?”

“Oh yeah,” Maggie nodded.

“Well, I’m sorry. Sadly, I’m going to stay here while you go on your little field trip,” Gregory said as he made a hand motion to shoo them all along.

Simon reminded Gregory that no one had asked him.

He had to admit he kind of enjoyed that little bit.

 

“What the fuck are you guys doing here?” Dwight grumbled as he watched the now large group of people get out of the van.

“We are here on a quest, seeking the meaning of our former crowned head’s parting words,” Ezekiel declared in his usual booming yet eloquent voice, arms outstretched.

“Yeah, heard the asshole was dead,” Dwight muttered.

Arat and Simon were just about to protest when Daryl, Aaron and Father Gabriel made their way to the group.

“It’s great to see you guys!” Aaron smiled at Jesus while Daryl hugged Carol and Maggie. “So, I couldn’t help but overhear. What was Negan’s last…”

“Cornflower,” Simon blurted out.

He was pretty tired of saying the damn word at this point.

He wanted to get this over with and go home.

However, just as he thought this would be another dead end, Aaron gasped.

“Corn… _cornflower_?” Aaron quailed. “Negan’s last word was ‘cornflower?’”

“Yeah, I take it you know what that means,” Simon said.

Aaron looked around at the crowd, contemplating something thoughtfully before he decided to continue, “it was some time, _way_ after the war, way after Michonne…you know…died, that Rick came up to me and confided that he had…found someone.”

“Found someone?” Daryl burst out. “You mean, like he _found_ someone?”

“Yeah, and he was, well he was you know,” Aaron shrugged. “It was the first time Rick had ever been interested in a guy.”

“Great, so what does Rick finally coming out of the closet have to do with Negan?” Simon grumbled.

“I’m getting there,” Aaron sputtered.

“You seriously haven’t figured it out?” Maggie sighed.

“Why’d he go to you?” Daryl asked sadly. “He coulda told me this shit. I wouldna judged.”

“No,” Aaron said as he shook his head, “that wasn’t why he confided in me. He just needed help in that department, you know…he’d never…Oh for fuck’s sake! He wanted to surprise his new lover with a mind-bending blow job! _There!_ I said it!”

Everyone looked at anything else but each other.

“So, did you have him go down on yo…” Daryl started tentatively.

“No!” Aaron exclaimed as he waved his hands in the air. “God. I used visual aids.”

“What kind of _visual aids_?” Carol asked, curiosity lacing her words.

“I used some of the zucchini we had in our food stocks,” Aaron replied quietly.

“Do you mean the squash the Kingdom has bartered in our relations with Alexandria,” Ezekiel said. “That particular harvest is blessed in its corpulent nature.”

“Yeah, and they’re pretty huge too,” Simon said before he winced, “how far did he manage to…you know…go down…”

“Actually, he managed to put most of the thing into his mouth,” Aaron replied with a rather proud smile, Daryl, Simon and Jesus wearing leering smirks as well.

“Did we actually eat produce that…that…Rick _fellated_?!” Father Gabriel sputtered.

“I’m not exactly sure how to answer that question,” Aaron cringed.

“Can we get back to the meaning of cornflower please,” Maggie insisted.

“So, I was curious and asked Rick about his new lover,” Aaron continued as he recalled what his former leader and friend had related to him. “He wouldn’t tell me his name and I was fine with that. But Rick got this wistful smile on his face, and told me that his partner had called him ‘cornflower.’”

“Oh… _Oh!_ ” Simon had said as he caught on.

“Finally,” Carol muttered.

“Do you know that I can actually _see_ the lightbulb come on over your head?” Jesus griped.

“Of course, when Rick _first_ repeated his lover’s endearment for him, for a split second I thought ‘virgin ass,’” Aaron quipped, Jesus nodding in agreement, “but then I got it. Rick had told me that his boyfriend had said his eyes were the most perfect shade of cornflower blue,” Aaron finished as he recalled the conversation fondly.

“Oh,” Arat whimpered with an uncharacteristic pout. “Negan died of a broken heart.”

“There is no scientific way anyone could actually die of a broken heart,” Eugene started.

“Shut up,” Arat barked as she slapped Eugene’s arm. “He died of a fucking broken heart!”

“Huh,” Simon scoffed. “Negan and Rick…and the zucchini and…well, that explains the dopey smile.”

Everyone shared a moment of reflection as they realized the importance of Negan’s final words.

“Twas beauty that killed the beast,” Ezekiel said sorrowfully.

“Did you just compare Negan to King Kong?” Simon sputtered.

“Worse, did you just call Rick Fay Wray?” Daryl snickered.

“Okay, can we get back to the really important thing here?!” Dwight barked as he turned to face Aaron. “Did you really use the food, _that we eat_ , to teach Rick how to blow Negan?!”

“I…er…um,” Aaron stammered. “What was the question?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to take this opportunity to give a huge THANK YOU (a big ole corpulent zucchini size one) to Bella_Monoxide for reading this over for me.
> 
> I would also like to thank her for the zucchini picture I woke up to this morning on messenger. ;P
> 
> Thank you for reading and I love comments! Even if you want to tell me 'death is not funny.'


End file.
